Some interesting truths about Nat

The following conversation actually took place. The

11:12 AM Okay Nat.
We're going to take a little survey.
The test is very simple, it is a yes or no test.
11:13 AM If the answer is no, write no. If the answer is yes, write nothing. That is, do not respond if the answer is yes. Ready to begin?
11:16 AM I will take it by your non-answer that you mean yes. That is correct, good answer. First question: Are you a happy man?
11:18 AM So by your non-answer you have confirmed that you are a gay homo-sapien, is that correct?
11:19 AM yes again. Thank you for clearing that up.
11:20 AM Next question: Have you ever stolen medical supplies from Children's Hospitals?11:22 AM Your answer than is "yes". Next question: do you or do you not have a crush on Krista [last name omitted to protect the innocent] of the Elementary Education office?
11:23 AM so the answer is...yes.
11:24 AM Next question: Have you ever told your friends at any time that you think Krista has a crush on you?
11:27 AM so that's a yes as well
11:28 AM Next question: do you plan to date April or Melissa if either or both Johns stops dating them?
11:29 AM I'll take that as a yes
11:30 AM Next question (submitted by Derek): Are you going to "bust a move" on Lindsay at the concert tonight?
11:31 AM So that's a yes as well. Next question: Will she pull away in disgust?
11:33 AM Also yes. okay then. Next question: Have you in the last 48 hours licked the window of a girl's apartment while making obscene gestures with your hands?
11:35 AM I'll take that as a yes.
11:37 AM Next question: Did you play Rock Band in my apartment last night completely nude?11:38 AM Also yes! Next question: Are you plotting the overthrow of the United States government because you blame them for taking away Egg Nog each year?
11:40 AM so that's a yes. Next question: do you have to use rubber/plastic sheets?
11:41 AM also yes.
11:42 AM Next question: Can I keep your can-opener?
11:43 AM Yes? Gee thanks man.

Nat: ive been gone...
11:44 AM me: Thank you for your participation in our survey

Nat: i am just getting out of the meeting