Guest post from Def Leppard Veteran

This is George, John's older brother, given temporary access to post on this blog. I would like to spend the time I have here encouraging the authors of this blog to proudly and courageously bear the Def Leppard torch with a marked indifference towards the threats of low-level and petty employees of the BYU intramural athletics organization.

Some weeks ago, I gave you my blessing in resurrecting a noble institution, even going so far as to authorize the use of the Def Leppard name. I have recently learned that fear of intramural banishment has caused certain members of the group to fail in this sacred trust by not upholding the time-honored ideals of Def Leppard Basketball.

Here's a little refresher course:

1. Def Leppard is not, in fact, about the sport of basketball.
2. At no time should the team ever focus on winning the game.
3. Letter-of-the-law sportsmanship and rule-keeping is a must - in fact, this concept taken to its extreme can be an entertaining and rewarding part of the Def Leppard experience. The limits can and must be pushed.
4. Although Def Leppard started its first season (1997) for the purpose of mocking others, we quickly shifted our focus toward entertainment, both of our fans and ourselves, and toward gaining free publicity for our social group.
5. The more spectacle and controversy, both on and off the court, the better.

Applying the guiding principles outlined above, I'd like to point out that only good things can flow from an underling within the intramural organization attempting to ban the team.

Unfortunately, the deeds of my generation have caused certain modifications of the official rules, which present an uphill challenge for the current team. Specifically, I understand that there is a rule against dressing or acting in a way that makes a mockery of the game. Fair game. You will have to work around this rule by being specific in your on-court strategy. There must be a certain earnestness in everything you do.

In dressing up, don't wear drag (like we sometimes did) or a business suit (ditto). Instead, go as extreme as you can with hardcore, old school, ridiculous court attire. You can still wear the other stuff during pre-game warmups, and so can your fans and support staff. The worst they can do (legitimately) is ask you to leave. As long as your players show up at game time in "appropriate" basketball attire, they have to let you play.

Let's assume that you, as a group, grow a pair and decide to do the Def Leppard name proud in your next duly scheduled athletic competition. The absolute worst thing that can happen, so long as no one dies, is that someone at the game tries to ban you. First of all, you shouldn't care about your eligibility to play in something as lame as college intramural sports. Second, being banned would be an amazing opportunity to cause a ruckus off the court. I'm thinking appeals process, fan petitions, letters to the editor, flyers, newspaper stories, local newschannel coverage, picketing protests in the "Wilk" and so on. Def Leppard is about so much more than playing basketball.

You are not there to mock the game or the system. You are there to shine a light on the retardedness of the system. Your team may have to go down as a martyr and give way for the next generation to take up the reins. If that happens, go out with a lot of noise and have fun while doing it. Point out that you are willing to abide by every rule of the system, cheerfully. You just have a non-traditional approach to enjoying the sport of basketball and should be allowed to pursue that.

It should be noted, here, that a majority of our trick plays are not "mocking the game." They are actually every bit as effective as traditional basketball plays (except Football Play - that one never works and is a little bit mocking). A general guideline for the creation and execution of plays: you are an eager, yet dim newcomer to the sport of basketball with some misguided ideas about how to win the game. Keep track of your success rate. Ours was easily over 50%.

Further, who within BYU Intramural Sports has been ordained keeper of the true spirit of basketball? How on earth can they claim that eager individuals thinking out of the box about ways to score are mocking this indefinable concept of "the Game?" This is just one of the things that makes the intramural institution so ridiculous and mock-worthy. That's what you are there to show. Not by open mocking, but by exposing the whole process to the larger BYU community. Let others mock what you uncover. Rallying other students to your cause, publicly overcoming a putative banishment, having fun the whole time you are doing it - that is true Def Leppard-osity. Rent the movie Footloose. Fight the idiocy and smallness pervading the system. Not by open rebellion, but by having a good time.

Wimping out at this point places you squarely within the system you set out to shake up. Don't be so willing to back down.

Also - any half attempts at playing Def Leppard basketball are just so not ok with me. If you're not going to take it over the top and really go for it, please just change your name to Poison and play regular ball. Continued authorized use of the Def Leppard name is spefically conditioned on carrying on in the spirit of your forefathers.

Seriously.