the documentary

After participating in my first day of shooting footage for Josh's documentary, I must say this is going to turn out incredibly. Little does anyone know just how perfectly cohesive will be the independent interviews of the participating individuals. This will rock yo socks. HOLLAA!!

Def Leppard

As many of you have heard, I was e-mailed by the director of intramurals and was basically told that our behavior in the past game was not in compliance with the rules and that all of our games would be forfeited for the rest of the season if I did not go in and speak with her.  So, as of tomorrow, I will be turning myself in.  

If I never make it out, I want you all to remember me as the coach that led you to an 0-1 record.  It wasn't easy, it took time, two practices each averaging about 15 miuntes long, and a heart of gold.

If they just talk to me then thats cool too.

I will of course try to compromise with them, but in the end if they will not allow it, then it's time to put our game faces on, whoop some serious a and show these fools who we really are.  And moon them a lot.

For anyone that wants to stand outside the intramural office while I am in there with picket signs, creative chants asking for the continuance of Def Leppard, having a prayer vigil, lighting candles, holding hands and humming ...that would be awesome.

I love you all.

Coach Crespo

Everything I need to know about life I learned in HEPE

I was told today by a girl that you can tell a lot about a man by his shoes. A rather Gumpish sentiment if you ask me.

In any case, apparently my shoes reflect that I don't match, am cheap, and am prematurely aging into an old man, velcro straps are less than two years away for me.

I just wanted to put that out there because I don't have any particularly funny things to say today.

Oh, and word to the wise, don't ever tell a girl that you would consider using her as a rebound in case your current relationship doesn't work out.

Anything that requires an alarm clock is too early.

Ladies is terrorists too, go and brush your shoulders off.

We all need to take a deep look inside and look at our body mass indexes. Or as Zack might say, indeces or or indexi.

Proper.

Big Announcement

To all my fellow elitists,

I suppose that now is the time to tell you all something i have been holding back for quite some time for reasons of fear and confidentiality.

Dane Rahlf's love life has been something quite interesting in the past semester. We all know that it all started with a little mishap with the infamous Brittany. Well... Brittany and I have been talking since Christmas and decided then to give it another shot. I have been out on a few dates with her, and have lied about a couple of people that I took out (ie the girl that I went to the BYU young ambassadors was not named "Alena," it was Brittany). Sorry for the dishonesty, we wanted to make sure it was going the right direction before we told anyone.

Things are going quite well, and I imagine you will be seeing more of her around, and most likely less of me around. Nothing official yet, we haven't even told our families yet. But you guys needed to know. Thanks for everything you have done (and not done) in that regard.

NewsFlash

This just in from my physics professor: The Great Plains have become the Great Planes.

This guy literally threw a stack of syllabi into the class. Fetch yes.

I am going to settle Catan tonight hard core and I challenge any man who thinketh himself a man to try and stop me.

I will pillage you no end. No matter what I roll, I'll end up with 2 of everything plus an additional two woodsen. And you all can just eat rocks. Unless I want them for a city. In which case I will wrest them from you and you will end up with nothing. Maybe a development card for a chapel. That way you can have a freebie victory point and a place where you can pray for mercy, only to have your prayers answered with me surrounding your feeble colonies with more roads and placing the filthy black robber next to your only sheep-producing territory.

Brooke in the Boys' room

Funny story about one of our honorary members of the Sweet16.

Dear Brooke was in a public restroom for about 5 minutes when she asked April, "Why does this bathroom have urinals in it?"

True story. I guess that's all I have to say about that.

The Greek tragedy of Jeremy Lindstrom

This is perhaps the worst thing to ever happen to anybody.

So Jeremy around midnight breaks up with a certain girl from Rexburg over the phone.
Shortly after Jeremy decides on a whim to go and break up with her to her face even after the deed has already been done.
Jeremy leaves house in car.
Drives 5 hours to Rexburg.
Breaks up with the girl face-t0-face
Jeremy is in car and on his way home again within an hour of arriving.
Jeremy is pulled over for doing 75 mph in a 65 area. $75 ticket.
Jeremy speeds again and slides off the road. $75 ticket. $175 towing?
Jeremy speeds yet again, falls asleep at the wheel and rear-ends a semi-truck. He totals his car. The cops gave him a third ticket, this one has no price on it (I imagine his license is getting revoked. Just like on Dan in Real Life...Three strikes, yer out!).
Missed two classes. Got no breakfast. Got no lunch. Got no girlfriend. Got no car. Got no job. If he had pets, his pet's heads probably would be falling off.

This is the worst story I have ever heard.


Here is how the Mastercard commercial would look:

Gas from Provo to Rexburg: $50
One ticket: $75
Second ticket, tow truck: $250
Third ticket, license revocation, totalled car, getting stranded in Brigham City: $3000
The laughs everyone has at your expense for driving all that way to break up with your girlfriend: Priceless