He shoulda been born in Brooklyn.

If only Jerry had been born in Brooklyn, he'd be jumping at the Apollo.

Nothing to say.

This post is just to indicate to everyone that I have nothing to say, that's why I've been saying nothing. In lieu of having nothing to say, I will say this:
Updates on Elite 8:

Josh Guest: still single, has a new blog, a better blog, works in the pre-law office, and recently had a close encounter with the law, well not really, but if they knew what he did...

Nat Harward: still single, just decided to run for BYUSA president next year, still convinced that BYUSA is the greatest organization... ever. still having trouble getting second dates

Bryce Allen: kinda single, has friends with benefits, accepted into advertising program, working at MTC, still scares women and children with fanaticism while watching sports

Lowell John Crespo: now single, still draws a lot, recently addicted to the new Call of Duty game, doesn't know how to meet women.

John Brunt: recently single, also addicted to the new Call of Duty game, going to graduate soon, went to china

Stefen Zachary Oates: still single, has found the one 8 times and 8 times she's become the one who got away, spends all his time working and not getting paid for it, claims to still be our friend but never hangs out with us...

Derek Senior: still single, still hopeless, still thinking his band can go somewhere, still hates his major

Jeremy Lindstrom: still jump ropes...

Dane Rhalf: has officially left the group for new friends, better friends

That's what we're up to. Any questions?

DATING TIPS!!!!

Ok Fellas,

This is an ESPN article on first dates and dating advice given to us by the top college football coaches in the land. So liken them unto you.

The Dash looks for dating advice around the country
Forde

By Pat Forde
ESPN.com
(Archive)

Updated: September 23, 2008
Forty names, games, teams and minutiae making news in college football (coaching-box laptop [1] sold separately in South Bend, and completely innocuously, and never to be used to help gain a decided schematic advantage of any kind):

Dating X-And-O's
The latest proof that Texas Tech coach Mike Leach (2) is among the more fascinating football coaches on the planet comes from this YouTube clip. In it, Leach dispenses dating advice on his coach's show. Among his first-date stratagems: Avoid salad-intensive menus, thus "the girl will be forced to eat in front of you, which is something that women hate, but the earlier the better." Also: If the conversation is lagging, go to a coffee house so you can talk about "the bizarre-looking characters going in and out."

How long before Mike Leach gets an eHarmony endorsement?
What date could go wrong with advice like that? No wonder Leach's offenses score so often.

The fact Leach would field the question is tremendous. That he discussed it with a stone-cold straight face is supernatural, but in character. Leach could open the door to fetch the morning paper, be greeted by a Tyrannosaurus Rex on the front lawn and fail to change facial expression or voice inflection.

But it also got The Dash wondering what dating tips other coaches might offer young men on their campuses.

Bobby Petrino (3): "Flatter her all night -- but keep your eyes open. If you see a hotter girl, pretend to go to the bathroom and then slip off to get her phone number."

Rich Rodriguez (4): "Go with the no-huddle offense, and hope she doesn't respond with the no-cuddle defense."

Pete Carroll (5): "Treat her like someone special. Pour on the charm. Then once you get a commitment for a second date, make it clear that you have seven other bombshells lined up if she doesn't put out."

Bob Stoops (6): "It's all calendar-related. I've always had great success on first dates in September, October, November and December, but they bomb in early January for some reason."

Mike Gundy (7): "If she says something you don't like, stand up in the middle of the restaurant and scream your age at her."

You'll probably have better luck with Anya Monzikova's briefcase on "Deal or No Deal" than on a date with her.
Charlie Weis (8): "If things start going badly, remind her how lousy her ex-boyfriend was."

Jim Tressel (9): "Keep it conservative. Maybe an ice cream cone followed by a little sweater shopping. If she has a Southern accent, give up immediately."

Bobby Bowden (10): "Make that date last forever. Even if it's no fun by the end of the night and you can tell she'd like you to leave, just keep hanging on."

Joe Paterno (11): "Take her to see one of those new-fangled motion picture shows. I hear they have some in color these days."

Nick Saban (12): "Tell her you're too busy breaking down Tennessee's third-and-long offensive tendencies to go on some stupid date. Where is your commitment, son? Who gave you permission to have a life? Drop and give me 20."

And if your date turns out to be Dashette Anya Monzikova (13), bring your A-game and hope it's good enough.

Talk Like A Pirate Day

Dear Elitists,

I just wanna be wishin' y'alls a most genial Talk-Like-A-Pirate Day, the case of cawrse being that today be the 19th day in this month of September, yarrr. May you be lettin' your pirate sides show and may ye be gettin' yur share of the booty. Otherwise I be keepin' it fur me-self.

You Broken-Hearted Lassies awrt to be makin' pirate comments a plenty as ye be reveling in yon Fall Festival.

And John, ye best be spectin' me to be a Pirating at the anniversary shindig of yaws birth. And yer girly wench friend April is apt to be a might peeved with me mannerisms. But I be a peg-beaked parrot and a fiendish knave of the toothless sart if I ever let the likes of a woman's wrathful scourge keep me from speakin' me piece.

ARRRRR

Weezer Concert

Hey Elites, I just dropped about $430 on Weezer tix so the quicker y'all could pay me back, the better it is for me. The concert is on October 7th. it's a Tuesday, it's at 7:30, and tix are $53. Below is a list of who is going and who hasn't paid as of noon on 9/16/08

John B.- paid
Ryan- paid
Phil
Josh R.
Bryce
Derek

Thanks guys,

Love, Jeremy

Death to the Speakerbox

Dane, will you please tell your German life partners to come get their speakerbox out of our humble kitchenspace? We need more liebensraum, man.  Don't be a frau.

It seems as though the Elite 8 gene pool has been severely watered down and then urinated in.

Exhibit A: The Elite 8 seating list as of 9:42 MST.

Adam Paora George Ruri
Deidre Edmunds
Elizabeth Anne Bell
Summer Valynn Price
Nathanael Jones Harward
Rebecca Edwards
Riena Suene Kalilimoku
Nicole Leilani Erickson
Cynthia Louise Swenson
Ryan P Stewart
Preston Coe Rigdon
Steele Michael Kizerian
Brandon Alden Snow
Brooke Stevens
Ian Esplin
Suzanne Mace
Lowell John Crespo
Jessica Annik Crane
Ryan Joseph Harman Brunt
Kaeli Ann Widmer
Cassidy Sherene Berghoff
Amanda Kizerian
Catherine Lily Bell
Tarah Latimer Ogzewalla
John Harman Brunt
Andrew Ross Godard
Elise May
David Kirk Jenkins
Alexa Christine Smith
Derek Andrew Senior
Julie Christine Lisonbee
Aaron Patrick Smith
Benjamin Douglas Nielsen
Miriam Jackson
Tess Marie Brown
Sean Gregory Young
Daniel Bruce Rupper
Rebecca Ruth Paul
Eric Robert Bell
Bryce Douglas Allen
Heather Jolie Burt
Kevin Hansen Brown
Marcus Franklin Johnson
Norman Taylor Seibold
Sarah Beth Gillespie
Brent Keith Homer
Joshua C Guest,