Are we being paid for allowing Google to advertise on our blog page?  Ecspecially for "adult singles in out area" ads?

Conversation with Jeremy Lindstrom

So Jeremy and I were on our way to get tickets to see Dashboard Confessional with the Warped Tour. And Jeremy says to me, "Hey Josh, bleen, I think it is about time to get tickets to see All-
American Rejects, they're my favorite band."

I was like, "Yeah, Jerry. Yeah."

Jeremy said, "Hey, have you ever tried eating an entire bottle of antacids?"

I acknowledged that I had.

He said, "Well, I haven't. You know, I have done a lot of acid in my day. But not a lot of antacid. You think they are a lot alike?"

I told him that I didn't know. Perhaps doing "acid" was a lot like consuming "antacid." I doubted it, but there was no way of knowing until I tried.

Jeremy said, "Well, maybe we should offer some goat sacrifices to the heathen god of Ball to find out."

I said, "Jeremy, you dolt, we have no goats. And it is spelled Baal."

Jeremy said, "How could you tell just from the way I said it outloud that that was how I was spelling it in my head?"

I told him, "Antacids will do that to ya."

Jeremy kissed Zack.

The end.

Conversation with Zack and Jeremy

The following text messaging conference took place to me today.

Zack: josh, if its not 2 much trouble, could you please clean the sink today? cul8r
Josh: Will you please fix the shower?
Zack: u think u gangsta, nigga? york and jersey are both gonna kill ya, ttyl
Josh: Dude, is this Jeremy?
Zack: yes, actually I am partying with Hillary Duff and the Jonas Brothers.
Josh: That's cool, tell Hillary to stay the Hill out of my Duff or I'll Duffin' Hill her.
Zack: OK, jk lol, rofl, lmao ;-)
Josh: How did you get Zack's phone? And how did Zack get my number?
Zack: josh, its not really jeremy, we R the jonas brothers, and we are dating zack and jeremy. we got your number from the olsen twins and mary kate said you can stick it where the sun don't shine
Josh: sadly, that actually IS what she said

Terrace Newsfeed

While in the Terrace at the Wilkinson Student Center I succumbed to peer pressure and went up to the microphone and began a fully serious reading of the Newspaper section "Campus Pulse." The question said "How do you think the university's decision to publish student's ratings of professors will affect your educational experience?"

Instead I told those present that the question was "How do you think the university's decision to permit faculty-student dating will affect your educational experience?" Then I read the following answers:

"I feel it will improve my educational experience. I feel it will improve the quality of professors' lectures." - Emma from Blue Springs

"I think it might affect the way I choose my professors, but other than that, it won't affect my education much." - Daniel from New Mexico

"I think it won't affect me that much. I think it will give me a comparison, but overall I don't see it having much of an impact." Erin from Alpine

There were other inappropriate things said. But we'll leave it at that.

Love,

Josh

Conversation with Library Circulation

The Library sent me an email recalling a Billy Joel sheet music book. They want it back. It was an automated email, but I figured it might be fun to respond. Here is the conversation we had on April 1, 2008.

Dear Patron;

The following item is being recalled by the Harold B. Lee Library in accordance with the policy below. Please return this item to the Main Circulation Desk before the recall due date noted.

Title: THE BEST OF BILLY JOEL

M 1630.18 .J63 B32 1985 VOL.2

Recall Due Date: APRIL 8, 2008

...

Thank you for your cooperation. If you have any questions, please contact us at 422-2913, or reply to this email.

Access Services Department

Holds/Recalls Secretaries

3445 Harold B. Lee Library

Brigham Young University

Fine, you can have it. I won't fight it. That's cool. Ain't no thang. Mos def. Yih, you know I be diggin' on dat music by mista William Joel. But iss aight. Me and my buds goin' be clubbin' on clubs and jammin' out tunes like whoa, ya know? We be likin' that Bill. But if we caint have the Bill, then iss aight.

Proper.

Totes.

Holla.

J-flub, out. Piz-EACE y'all.

Wow, can I tell you that that just made my day? Thanks.

Y'know, gurl . I be glad dat you be mackin' on mah streetsmart vernacular. I be poppin' out dis multifarious verbiage from da cradle to grave yo. If'n you needa talk to somebody who be backin' yo back (ya' never know when somebody goin' be wakin' up from breffist o somethin' and says to hisself, "Oh! I hate my life, I'm going to burn this library down!" And you goin' be needin' somebody to keep yo' back, I mean keep it yo.) You can just email me. You can email me. Yih.

B-Snap. ShaZAM!

Pretty women, big thugs, one and the same.

J-flip. a-WHAAAA!

Out.

Thanks for the offer. You should apply to be a security guard. I’m sure with all that experience in the ‘hood, you will be able to handle anything, right?

Suck it, Trebek.